Better Answers to "How Are You?"

Why "Good, you?" goes nowhere

"How are you?" is often a ritual more than a question. You say "Good, you?", they say "Good," and you're both back at the start. On a random video chat like Omlet, where either person can skip with one tap, that's usually the moment someone reaches for Next.

A better answer isn't longer or more personal. It just adds one hook the other person can grab.

What to say instead of "good" on a good day

These replace a flat "good" with something the other person can actually respond to.

• "Really good, actually. I finally finished a project I've been stuck on for weeks."
• "Not bad at all. It's my first day off in a while, so I'm enjoying doing nothing."
• "Great, I just had the best coffee of my week. Are you a coffee person?"
• "Good! It's sunny here for the first time in days. What's the weather like where you are?"
• "Pretty good. I'm in a chatty mood tonight, so you picked a good time."
• "Better than this morning. Long story, but it involves a broken alarm clock."

Answers for when you're tired

Tired is honest and relatable, which makes it a surprisingly good opener. Pair it with the reason.

• "A little tired. I've been on my feet all day. Are you a morning person or a night person?"
• "Sleepy. It's past midnight here, so forgive me if I yawn. What time is it for you?"
• "Running on coffee, honestly. How's your day been?"
• "Tired, but the good kind. I went on a long walk this afternoon."

Mentioning the time is especially useful when you're matched with someone in another country. It leads straight to where they are and what their day looks like.

Answers for a meh day

You don't have to pretend everything is great, and you don't have to unload either. Name it lightly, then move the conversation forward.

• "Honestly, a bit meh. Nothing bad, just one of those days. Tell me something good about yours?"
• "Could be better, could be worse. Talking to someone new should help."
• "Up and down. Distract me: what's the most interesting thing you did this week?"
• "Hanging in there. I'm happy to talk about anything except work."

Skip answers that put pressure on someone you just met, like a detailed list of problems, or sarcasm that's hard to read through a webcam. "Living the dream" can land as a joke in person and as a complaint on a laggy connection.

Interesting answers to "How are you?" when you want a laugh

A playful answer signals that you're relaxed and up for a fun chat. Use one, not three in a row.

• "Like a phone at 60 percent: working fine, could use a charge."
• "On a scale of one to ten, a solid seven. Ask me again in ten minutes."
• "Today's forecast: mostly sunny with a chance of snacks."
• "I'd say good, but I've only been awake for an hour, so the jury's still out."
• "Better now. You're the first person today who isn't my coworker."

Each of these still ends in an opening. If they laugh, follow with a real question so the joke leads somewhere.

How to respond to "How are you?" and hand the question back

The other half of a good answer is the hand-off. "You?" works, but a more specific question gets a better reply.

• "How's your day going over there?"
• "What's the best thing that happened to you today?"
• "Are you just starting your day or ending it?"
• "What were you up to before this?"
• "What's keeping you busy these days?"

If they still answer "good," that's fine. Ask about anything you can see or hear, or use the techniques in our guide to follow-up questions. For the few seconds before anyone asks how you are, see what to say when you get matched.

Once the greeting is done, our guide to small talk without the cringe covers where to take things next.

How people ask "How are you?" in other languages

On Omlet's random video chat you might meet someone from almost anywhere, and asking in their language is a warm way to open. These are casual forms for someone around your age; most of these languages also have a more formal version.

In some places the question is mostly a greeting. In much of the UK, "You alright?" simply means hello, and the expected reply is "Yeah, you?" rather than an update on your life. Our list of how to say hello in 30 languages has more openers to try.